Getting Ready for Ragnar!

Unfortunately, I told my family I would create a training program for the Wasatch Back Relay this June. Having done this race like 5 times I figured it would be no big deal. Turns out, it was a big deal. Trying to make a concise running schedule for 12 very different routes and 24 different people is quite a challenge. So prepare yourselves, people. While this post is informative, awesome and mind-blowing, it's actually pretty lenghty (how else was I supposed to get in all the awesomeness?). I hope you're in for the long haul.

Side note: I'm fully aware that I'm NOT the only Lifferth out there who's done this race before. Those of you who have done it, be sure to comment with your own tips, ideas, and know-how. Also, consider this my training post. Once we get a little closer to game day, I'll write a post on how to survive the race. Cause that's really where the help is needed.

First thing's first.

 

Your Ragnar Training Schedule

I went to Ragnar's website and found that they already have a training program posted. Click here to see the beginner training program. On the same page you can click "Intermediate" and see the more advanced training.

Honestly, it's a pretty solid schedule...but I still had some beef with it. My biggest problems were:
1. They give a billion rest days.
2. They make you do 3-a-days. Yikes!
3. And, if you are "intermediate," they expect you to get your mileage up to a long 18 miles. I'm sorry people, but that is called marathon training. And this isn't a marathon. Even those running the longer legs (18-21 miles) should NOT have to put in this many miles in one get go.

So, definitely check it out. But don't trust it entirely.

I tried to come up with a day to day schedule, but I felt like I was doing a disservice. This race is so individual. Everyone runs a different distance. Not only that, but every leg is different. You really can't summarize what everyone should be doing in ONE training program.

And so, I present to you my version of the training schedule. A much less clear, but much more helpful training schedule:

	This Week Be	Your Shortest Run	Your Longest Run	Your Total Mileage
	Sure to Include:	Should Be:	Should Be:	Should Be:
Apr 1-6	Easy Day	2 (Beginner)-3 miles	3-6 miles	12-24 mi.
Apr 7-13	Hills*/Easy Day	2-4 miles	3-6 miles	14-24 mi.
Apr 14-20	Hills/Speed*	3-4 miles	4-7 miles	18-26 mi.
Apr 21-27	Hills	3-4 miles	5-7 miles	20-28 mi.
Apr 28-May 4	Hills/Speed	3-4 miles	5-8 miles	22-28 mi.
May 5-11	Hills	3-4 miles	6-8 miles	22-30 mi.
May 12-18	Hills/MNM Run*	3-4 miles	7-10 miles	24-32 mi.
May 19-25	Hills/Speed	3-4 miles	7-12 miles	26-34 mi.
May 26-Ju 1	Hills/MNM Run	4 miles	8-14 miles	26-36 mi.
June 2-8	Hills/Peak*	4 miles	80% of total*	28-40 mi.
June 9-15	Hills/Taper*	3-4 miles	6-8 miles	20-26 mi.
June 16-22	Strides*/Easy/RACE!!!!	2 miles	4-5 miles	12-16 mi.

As you can see, I'm being lazy and just giving rough suggestions. But trust me! Everyone really needs to adapt their training to their specific legs. Here's the break down:

Rest Days

Okay...here's where you get to hear my opinion on rest days. I fully recognize that I'm a bit OCD about my running habits. I run every day (minus Sunday) whether is gorgeous outside or blizzarding. This is not necessary (the first step is admitting it, right?). Having said that, I will admit that in Running World it is acceptable to have 3 rest days a week (sometimes even 4) whilst training. I'm only saying this because I don't want you guys to get discouraged if you can only fit 3 or 4 days of running in. That's okay. Life happens.

But I would like to remind all of you, that I'm completely confident that each of you can run a mile in at least 15 minutes or less. And who can really say that they can't squeeze a quick 1 mile run into their schedule? It's only 1 mile...but then again it's ONE WHOLE MILE. Trust me, it makes a difference. So I'm making all you guys mentally agree to only have 1 or 2 rest days a week. If it happens to be more, we'll forgive. But really try for just 1 or 2 and then give yourself some easy days (just because I didn't specify to include easy days, doesn't mean you can't include them. Do!)

Hills

Everyone needs to do hill workouts. I'm sorry, but that is going to be the one thing that will help you not die come race day. Some of you guys have some crazy hard uphills. If you don't train for it, you'll be walking/huffing/and puffing your way to the exchange. It won't be a pretty picture.

If you have one of the harder/steeper legs, you might even want to drive to a canyon or something. Just make sure you are getting some good uphill running in. Those of you doing Avon Pass, Pre-Ragnar, and Ragnar (and ones like it) will especially need to find a route that give you an incline for the majority of the trail.

Those of you who have been blessed to not do any of the previously mentioned legs (or ones like it) still need to include hills. It's cool if you just want to throw 2 or 3 hills in one of your regular loops.

Hill Repeats: these are pretty self explanatory. Do a bit of a warm up (1-2 miles) to a hill. When you run up the hill, you should be sprinting. When you first start doing these, start out with 2 or 3. Towards the end of training you should be doing 4-6 repeats. It totally counts if you walk down the hill in between. Make sure you cool down too.

Downhill: Honestly, not being prepared for downhill can hurt just as much as uphill. You just won't feel it until later. If you have a leg that goes on a steep decline, train for it! Go down the canyon instead of up! Nothing will make you more sore than flying down a hill (without having gotten your muscles used to it) and then sitting in a car for 3 hours.

Speed

You'll see that I didn't include speed as much in my training plan. Maybe you'll be able to make the connection between my speed workout habits and my training plan making habits.

I have a hard time with speed because I'm lazy. And honestly, I don't know what type of competitors you all are. If you are looking to get a ton of kills (for you first timers, that's what they call it when you pass someone. And yes, we do count) you'll want to do speed every week. My brother Kyle is a good example of this (he's hardcore). But that's not for everyone. Unfortunately, I'm more competitive than I like to admit. So here are some speed workouts for all competition types:

This was for the Red Rock Relay...but it's the same idea.
You count your kills. It's for bragging rights, I guess...

Intervals: Go to a track and time intervals. The first time you go, start out with something easier, like one set of 800m-400m-400m. Next time you go, do two sets, and then three. Try to keep all of your times consistent. If you get 90 seconds for your first 400m (once around the track) shoot for it on your second one. Only allow yourself a 30-60 second break in between each interval. But in between sets you can give yourself a 3-5 minute break. Interval work is so hard. But it's also the most rewarding workout. Feel free to come up with your own sets. Longer will get you ready to do your legs in high gear, shorter will give you a good kick for passing.

Tempo: The problem I have with intervals is the fact that I'm not nearly as fast as I was in high school. So I usually opt for tempo runs. First do a good warm up (10-15 minutes). Then kick it into high gear for 5 minutes (make sure you've got a watch for this). Really push yourself. After the 5 minutes is up, switch back to your normal pace for 4 minutes. Then go 4 minutes hard. Work your way down to 1 minute. The point is that you are get faster for each minute you drop. Follow up with a cool down.

Fartleks: The good thing about this workout, is that you don't have to have a watch. As always, do a warm up. I like doing this workout on country roads because you sprint at every other telephone pole. And in the country, it's just more recognizable. So sprint the first length, jog or walk the next and so forth. Do 2-3 miles of it. Cool down.

 

MNM Run

This stands for Morning-Night-Morning Run. It is imperative that you do this while training for Ragnar. Nothing else will get you used to the schedule of Ragnar better. Of course, you could follow Ragnar's own schedule and do a 3-a-day. But really, that's not necessary. The first day run 3 or 4 miles in the morning, and then 4-5 miles in the evening. The next morning run 3-5 miles. Feel free to adjust the mileage. I would suggest doing a MNM run 2 or 3 times before the race. It really helps your body to get in the swing of things.

 

Peak/80% of Total

Okay. This might be confusing. Two weeks before the race, you should peak. Your longest run during each week should be getting steadily longer. And 2 weeks before the race, you should hit your peak, which in this case, is going to be 75-80% of your total mileage. I took the liberty of computing everyone's so you don't have to.

	Total Miles	75-80% of Total
Runner 1	21.1	16 miles
Runner 2	13.7	10 miles
Runner 3	19.4	15 miles
Runner 4	14.6	11 miles
Runner 5	14.8	11 miles
Runner 6	17.2	13 miles
Runner 7	11.7	9 miles
Runner 8	15.9	12 miles
Runner 9	17.6	13 miles
Runner 10	15.3	12 miles
Runner 11	19.8	15 miles
Runner 12	15.9	12 miles

So Runner 5 totals 14.8 miles in the race. But for training, his longest run should be 11 miles. And honestly, feel free to give this some leeway. Cut it down by a couple miles if you don't feel ready for it two weeks before the race.

Taper

After that long run, you should start to taper. Cut back on all of your runs and don't go as far as you have been. Especially the week of the race, take advantage of the fact that you ought to be laying off the running. I still run every day, but I never go more than 5 miles the week of a race.

The Day Before the Race: Lots of runnesr choose not to run the day before a race, which is totally acceptable. I like to run the day before. I'm sure mostly it's psychological, but I like to keep my muscles loose. If you do run, include strides. Go to a football field, a track, or a road with telephone poles. Run about 100 meters, focusing on stretching your legs and going fast. It's not quite a sprint. Doing strides is honestly like bounding. You feel a bit dumb, but the point is to loosen your muscles and get them ready for going fast/going uphill/going downhill etc.

A Word About Heat

Sorry I just keep talking! I'm only giving you information I think is important. The unfortunate thing about Ragnar is that you will likely have at least one leg that's in the heat of the day. If you don't get ready for it, it's gonna getcha. One year that I did Ragnar, I was working 8am-5pm all summer in an air conditioned building. I went on my runs at 6 am. I never got outside when it was hottest. When I got to the race day I had one leg that hit right around 2:30 or 3 in the afternoon. It was burning hot and I wasn't used to it at all. It was only a 4 mile leg, but I had to walk like 5 times because the heat was killing me.

In the weeks leading up to the race, try to get some time outside when it's H.O.T. If you can, plan a couple of runs during the afternoon. Choose easier and shorter runs, and take water if you think it's necessary. When I worked as an assistant cross country coach, I ran with the kids every afternoon and my body totally got used to the heat. Even if you can't plan a run in the heat, try to go outside. Your body will get used to the heat and you'll be glad when, come race day, you have to run 6 miles uphill in 90 degree weather. Drink lots of water when you do these runs!

Finally, Shoes

I know most of you are seasoned runners who know how important shoes are. But for you newbies, please, please, please BUY GOOD SHOES. My favorite place is Runner's Corner in Orem. I'm a freak (I already told you...) and when I go to Runner's Corner, I'm there for 1 or 2 hours picking out my shoes. They have a track there in the store where you actually get to try out the shoes and compare them (so wear workout clothes when you go). It's awesome. Really try to get a shoe that's right for you. I could write a whole post on running shoes, pronation and supronation...but I won't. Just buy good shoes. Please.

You're going to be wearing these nearly every day for the next 3-4 months (at least), so you'll get your money's worth. And the way I see it, it's better to spend a hundred dollars on good shoes now, than to pay thousands of dollars down the road when you need knee surgery because of your crappy running shoes. Got it? Good.

Whew. We made it! Hopefully your training won't seem as long as this post! Feel free to add your own thoughts and let me know if you have any questions!

Go Teams Wandering Wanda and Oh-Henry's!

The Story of How We Decided to Go to China

Like, for real.

Once upon a time, Ben and I were killing time on campus. I grabbed a newspaper and started browsing. (On a completely unrelated side note-Rexburg has got to be one of the most boring cities as far as news goes. I read a 3 page article about college age men creating a club to watch My Little Ponies together. Not kidding. Another favorite was the woman who called the cops because her 3 year old was missing. Cops arrived and found the kid fast asleep underneath some pillows. Sheesh.)

Anyhow...

The newspaper had an insert advertising a FREE five dollar bill AND dinner. The catch? You had to come listen to a 15 minute spiel on the International Language Program.

Who doesn't want free money? We were in.

So we went and listened. Basically, the International Language Program (or ILP) sends its volunteers to several different countries (although, they only send married couples to China). The volunteers work at schools and teach English for a couple hours every day. When they're not teaching, they can travel and experience the culture. Cool, right? Honestly, it's pretty affordable, as far as a study abroad type program goes.

And as we left ($10 richer between the two of us, mind you) we felt like crazies because we were like, "What if...?"

And let's be real. It was a huge "What if...?" I mean, both of us are currently unemployed and have been for 3 months. Unfortunately, that doesn't usually equate to gobs of money to spend on flippant travel.

But the more we thought about it, the more we realized that not only could we make this a reality, it would actually be beneficial too. We realized it would help Ben's schooling in so many ways.

Problem: Ben has always wanted to become multilingual. However, he's always told me that he wouldn't be able to call himself fluent in another language unless he lived in the country where they spoke that language.
Solution: The cost of ILP includes language and cultural classes. Ben would be able to learn Chinese and then go right out and practice it. (I'm not as ambitious, so I'll probably just stick to learning tai chi and call it good).

Problem: Ben has been looking at a master's program (called Master of Second Language Teaching--how appropriate is that??) that he's really interested in. However, the program requires all applicants to have taught in a classroom setting for 6 months.
Solution: Teaching in China will totally count for that! He'll get 3 months from student teaching (someday) and 3 months from ILP.

Problem: Before I went to college, I always wanted to do some sort of study abroad. But I didn't because I'm too darn focused. I graduated and got married...so....
Solution: ILP actually gives a discount to married couples. Cha-ching!

So we have been going forward with this, and with all crazy set aside, we have really felt like this is the right thing to do. It seems like the Lord has got our back on this one-what with how everything has worked out (we've even found a way to pay for it!).

China has always been the last place on my To Travel list. Mostly because the culture is so incredibly foreign to me. But I have been getting so excited for this little adventure that we're going to go on.

Especially because I heard the shopping in China is super cheap.

Our Story

I don't know what other people do in the same situation...but when people post on facebook with a link to their blog, I always click on the link and read the post. And likely, keep on reading until I get tired the person's life or writing skills, or until the posts run out. Whichever comes first. I know it's a bit freakish, but I just think people's lives are so interesting.

Anyhow, in the past couple of weeks, maybe in connection with Valentine's day, I've read a lot of blogs about love and relationships. And it got me thinking a lot.

It made me think about my own blog and what I've shared about the love in my life. I looked back over my posts and I realized that I hardly ever mentioned Ben while we were dating. It was just all of a sudden that BAM!! we were engaged!

I think that a lot of the exclusion of our dating was on purpose. Right before I started dating Ben, I went through a really difficult time in my life. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but one of the hard things was that a lot of people were judging me for the choices I made and the opinions I formed. I was the ward's gossip topic and it got old pretty fast. Turns out trials are a lot more difficult when they're made public.

Anyhow, I think it goes without saying that Ben was the best blessing I could have asked for at that time in my life. He was the reassuring rock that I needed in my time of turmoil and anger. But I think it can easily be understood why I didn't care about sharing details of my life. I didn't want anyone telling me what to do or what not to do. I was sick of people secretly disagreeing with my choices. And so I kept Ben off the charts, as far as the web goes, and shared that part of my life with the people who I knew would support me.

So that's why the whole engagement might've come as a shock.

Anyhow, what with my blog stalking tendencies and reading others' stories, I figured I would share mine. Not because I owe it to anyone. Because, frankly, I don't. But because of the fact that as I've read other stories, I've come to love my story even more. Not just because it's awesome, but because every story is completely different and completely perfect for the person writing it. If you don't have your story yet, I want you to know that when you do, you don't have to worry about it matching any other stories. You just have to trust that your story is perfectly right for you.

Ben and I met officially in October of 2011. We hardly ever talked even though we were in the same FHE group. So when he asked me out after the Thanksgiving break, I figured it was a pity date.

Honestly, the date was fun.
Honestly, he was easy to talk to and kinda funny.
But honestly, I wasn't interested.

However, our stake president had made a kind of "rule" about dating. He encouraged us to give a person 3 dates without assuming anything. No thoughts about what this would turn into or how serious we should make it. He just wanted us to go out and have fun--no pressure. And I really was committed to it.

So we went on date #2. Again, it was fun, but still, not super interested.

The next day was Sunday and Ben made sure to sit by me whenever he got the chance. Here's the semi embarrassing part: he slipped me a note. It looked like this:

So 2nd grade, right? I seriously would have been disgusted...buuuut my sister Heather had been the giver of a similar note the week previous. And I had thought it was really funny then, so how could I judge Ben for doing the same?
side note: And since we've been married, I've learned that Ben's dad did the same thing with my mother-in-law when they started dating. Cute, right? Awww!

I made my own box that said "All of the above" and checked that one.

That night, Ben and I broke the stake president's rules. We had a fairly serious "What the heck is going on" chat. I told him very clearly that I did NOT want anything serious.

He pretended to agree with me.

Okay, if you thought the note was cheesy, get ready for this.

Every week, Ben and his roommate would go to an old folks home in town and sing songs and play guitar for a few hours. So we did some organizing and on Monday, our FHE group headed to the old folks home, ready with songs to play.

Story aside, it was the best activity ever. People played guitar or piano or violin. And the elderly people loved it. They would rock in their chairs or sing along. It was so great. But all the while, I had my eye on Ben. He was so sweet. He helped all of the residents into the room and would find them a good spot to sit. He would put his arm around the old ladies and chat with them like they were his own grandma.

Anyhow, needless to say, he was racking up the points. And to top it off, he sang Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." And that's really when everything changed.

That night as I went to bed, I knew that Ben was the one.

It sounds crazy and weird and a little bit freakish. But it's true. I mean, I wasn't ready to admit it to anyone, especially not him. But I just knew that if Ben and I dated, we'd get married.

Over the next couple of months, that little thought was confirmed so many times. Heavenly Father wasn't subtley letting me know that Ben was a good choice. No, He was practically shaking my shoulders and telling me that He whole-heartedly approved. I won't give you specifics, because they're special and I don't care to share them with the universe, but trust me when I say that the Lord was extra convincing.

Honestly, Ben was never a part of my plan. I had a pretty straight forward timeline of my life, and nowhere in it did it include Ben or Idaho or anything like that. But when it happened, I knew that it was right.

So we dated. And became best friends. And really, it was just wondeful. He's not perfect. But he's absolutely perfect for me.

In March we got engaged. After I graduated, he moved to Idaho and I moved home to Springville. The month we were apart was really difficult. Satan really plagued me and tried to get me to doubt our relationship. But Heavenly Father had already given me my answer.

So on June 8th I married my best friend.

And since we've been married (over 8 months now, people!), I've come to love Ben more than I ever thought possible. There are so many things that I didn't know about this guy. Some of them aren't quite as admirable (like his fingernail biting habits). But mostly I am so impressed with the things I learn (like his cooking skills and his scripture knowledge).

With everything that Ben and I have gone through in our short time together, good and bad, I have been so impressed with the knowledge that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me completely. How else would I have been blessed with such a wonderful companion? And to top it off-I get this guy for eternity. Gosh, what a bargain!

So that's the story of me and Ben. I hope it wasn't too sappy for you. But now you all know that I really didn't just get engaged out of the blue. And I really love my husband. Also, being married is the bomb. You should try it ;)

Love, Kim

Randomness

In true Sarah fasion, I need a good old fashion thought spewing post. See below:

When I grow up, I want a super huge kitchen that has lots and lots of storage space.

Turns out signing up for the one month of free Netflix isn't the best idea. Who wants to donate their email for next month?

Having no job/nothing to do is the worst thing ever. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to fill all my time?

Contrary to previous notions, my husband does have money saving tendencies when it's needed. Learning something new about that guy everyday.

Skiing is quite possibly the most terrifying thing in the whole world. But now this Utah Native can claim she's been down a mountain. The mountain was just in Wyoming. It still counts, right?

Is it worth it to drive 40 minutes for a part time job? A well paying job, but nonetheless, part time.

Who the heck knew that selling Mary Kay could be so lucrative. Maybe that's the path I should take. Facials, anybody?

Having no job/nothing to do is the best thing ever. I have time for everything. Even if all that includes is going on long runs, watching Netflix, rereading Harry Potter, and making elaborate meals. How can I sign on to do this full time? (Okay, I know the answer to that but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to discuss it...)

Am I justified in turning down a job interview because the person who emailed me said "would u" instead of "would you?" Where is the humanity? The job requires a bachelor's degree for heaven's sake! They can't even spell out "you???" So...justifiable or not?

Real people! To chat and hang out with! Love it!

Turns out I really like colors. Bright colors. And when I have a house that has a really big kitchen, I will also have a bedroom that is not depressingly red and black.

Ben is my best friend ever. Gosh I love him.The Lord knew what He was doing.

Driving around BYU-I campus makes me want to kill myself as well as the nearest 10 students. They are like the worst zoobies ever. Times 30. Ugh.

Should I spend thousands of dollars on graduate school??

Planning weddings is stressful business. Makes me even more glad I have passed that stage of life.

Okay, people. Those were my random thoughts of life. I hope you enjoyed!

Unfortunately...

I have quite fallen in love with this little puppy:

And let's be honest. I never wanted to be that person.
The person who is actually posting a picture of her dog.

I don't even like animals. Not really. We had one dog while I was growing up. My mom gave him away while we were at school and none of us even noticed.

See what I mean?

I only agreed to this dog because Ben had him before he and I even met.

But I think I would have died by now--what with Ben going to school and me being jobless. But this dog keeps me sane. He's naughty lots of the time...but I still love him.

I hate that I love him.

But I do.

So sue me.

Hooray!

I am super freaking stoked to tell you guys that we have officially found a place to live that is IN Rexburg (nope, not pregnant...sorry if I got your hopes up).

We signed the lease and put in our deposit today.

Hooray!!!

No more driving 30 minutes to civilization!
No more having my husband on campus all day long!
No more no internet!
No more having everything close at 6:30!

And now we can start looking for jobs!

Hooray!

But wait! You haven't heard the best part...

...We're moving into a trailer home! In an official trailer park (but like all trailer parks, ours has a much classier name than it deserves)!

We've got the crazy pet dog, the nicer car than is needed, and Ben is growing out a pretty substantial mustache. All we need now is to have a child named Ethel Mae and we will be certified trailer trash!

But really...In all honesty, I could not be more excited. We'll be living pretty close to campus and we'll actually be able to meet people. People! Like who are in the same stages of life as me. And I will be connected to everyone else because we have internet where we're going. And a microwave (yep, we've gone without that too). And a dishwasher. And not that you care to know--but washer and dryer too! (See all the modern conveniences I've been going without??)

So anyhow, that's my exciting news. You can shout hooray for me too.

A Few Faves

So, if you didn't know, Ben and I are now living in Ashton, Idaho (population 1,127, pets included, I'm pretty sure) while Ben goes to school at BYU-I in Rexburg. We want something closer to campus but, for the time being, our cozy cabin-esque house is doing just fine.

However, we don't have internet. So I've taken advantage of Ben having fewer classes on Thursdays and Fridays by coming to school with him. It's a plus in many ways including I get to spend more time with him and less time by my lonesome. AND I get to commandeer his school account and internet usage while he's in class.

As you can see, it's a win-win kind of situation.

Anyhow I figured I'd let you know about my all time favorite relationship building type books because I'm a nerd and I like to spread the love.




 This book is called "Why We Love" by Helen Fisher. This is more of an interesting read than a self help one. Fisher got a bunch of "in love" volunteers and was able to perform different brain scans to see what part of the brain lights up when you're in love, how long "romantic love" lasts and a couple of tips for maintaining that kind of love. It also explains what happens in the brain when you break up. It's super fascinating and will just make you think, "So that's why I do/have done that."


"This next book is "And They Were Not Ashamed" by Laura M. Brotherson. In case you can't figure out what this one is about, the subtitle is: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fullfilment. I don't know about you guys, but I grew up in a house where you just didn't talk about sex. It was horribly taboo. This author does a really good job talking about sex tastefully. Brotherson is LDS so she does bring in biblical references as well as modern day revelation that support the sanctity of marriage and the expression of love within a marriage. She definitely brings out the spiritual side. I was really impressed with how much content she has in the book-none of which I found repetitive. She uses really clear examples and illustrations. I personally think this book is a "must own" and not just a "must read." She goes beyond sex and talks about a bunch of other aspects related to strengthening your marriage. Toward the end she actually talks about how it's important to help your children learn about sex from a young age. For parents who aren't quite sure how to teach this to their kids, she actually gives a sort of lesson plan with specific things to say or questions to ask for various age groups. It's really an awesome book. And I think it's a great opportunity for couples to be a little more open about their sexual relationship. Another book along these lines is "The Act of Marriage" by Tim LaHaye. He's Christian (not sure what denomination) so he also brings in biblical references. I personally liked "And They Were Not Ashamed" better just because LaHaye seemed fairly outdated (and maybe that's only because the copy I had was published in like the 70s). Anyhow, either of these books are really great for guys to read, just because they help guys kind of see the girl's point of view.

Sorry that was a really long explanation. The next book is "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. First I have to say that my mom was a huge Dr. Laura fan (you know, before she got kicked off the air) and I absolutely hated her (Dr. Laura. Not my mom). I think she's so mean to all of her callers. It drives me crazy. So when Ben suggested I read this book, I kind of ignored him. But one day I got really bored so I opened it and I was floored. This woman gets women. And men. I mean, as I read, I realized that a lot of the things she accused women of doing, I did! I never thought I was a terrible wife, but when I read this book I realized there were so many things I could do better at. The book really helped me to understand the simplicity of men and what their needs are. I really felt inspired to be a better wife. Dr. Laura is to the point and she has really awesome experiences to share. My complaints were that she gets a little repetitive and she refers to guys as "your man" too many times and it got on my nerves (but that's my own personal problem, right?).

I'm not sure if this is available as a book. I've only seen it on CD or kindle. It's called "For All Eternity" by Dr. John L. Lund. If you ignore all the other books I've listed DO NOT IGNORE THIS ONE. It is honestly, one of the best resources out there for married couples. I'm not kidding you. My parents encouraged me to listen to this like 3 years ago. I loved it so much that I went out and bought it cause I was like, "Someday I want a kick A marriage but it won't be kick A unless we listen to this baby every 18 months." Dr. Lund has practiced marriage and family therapy for years. The CD is actually a recording of a 4 part marriage strengthening workshop he taught. It's cool because you can listen to it in parts and he gives you specific things to work on in between each session. He is absolutely hilarious and all his examples are so real. His wife helps him with parts of it. One of my favorite things is that he give some awesome tips on communicating in marriage. Oh my gosh I seriously love this so much! You should go out and buy it now. Or let me know and I will let you borrow my copy. Heck, I'll even buy it for you. That's how much I love it and think everyone should listen to it.

So those are my suggestions for awesome books to read. Even if you aren't dating anyone, you should get a head start on some of these.