Anyhow, in the past couple of weeks, maybe in connection with Valentine's day, I've read a lot of blogs about love and relationships. And it got me thinking a lot.
It made me think about my own blog and what I've shared about the love in my life. I looked back over my posts and I realized that I hardly ever mentioned Ben while we were dating. It was just all of a sudden that BAM!! we were engaged!
I think that a lot of the exclusion of our dating was on purpose. Right before I started dating Ben, I went through a really difficult time in my life. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but one of the hard things was that a lot of people were judging me for the choices I made and the opinions I formed. I was the ward's gossip topic and it got old pretty fast. Turns out trials are a lot more difficult when they're made public.
Anyhow, I think it goes without saying that Ben was the best blessing I could have asked for at that time in my life. He was the reassuring rock that I needed in my time of turmoil and anger. But I think it can easily be understood why I didn't care about sharing details of my life. I didn't want anyone telling me what to do or what not to do. I was sick of people secretly disagreeing with my choices. And so I kept Ben off the charts, as far as the web goes, and shared that part of my life with the people who I knew would support me.
So that's why the whole engagement might've come as a shock.
Anyhow, what with my blog stalking tendencies and reading others' stories, I figured I would share mine. Not because I owe it to anyone. Because, frankly, I don't. But because of the fact that as I've read other stories, I've come to love my story even more. Not just because it's awesome, but because every story is completely different and completely perfect for the person writing it. If you don't have your story yet, I want you to know that when you do, you don't have to worry about it matching any other stories. You just have to trust that your story is perfectly right for you.
Ben and I met officially in October of 2011. We hardly ever talked even though we were in the same FHE group. So when he asked me out after the Thanksgiving break, I figured it was a pity date.
Honestly, the date was fun.
Honestly, he was easy to talk to and kinda funny.
But honestly, I wasn't interested.
However, our stake president had made a kind of "rule" about dating. He encouraged us to give a person 3 dates without assuming anything. No thoughts about what this would turn into or how serious we should make it. He just wanted us to go out and have fun--no pressure. And I really was committed to it.
So we went on date #2. Again, it was fun, but still, not super interested.
The next day was Sunday and Ben made sure to sit by me whenever he got the chance. Here's the semi embarrassing part: he slipped me a note. It looked like this:
side note: And since we've been married, I've learned that Ben's dad did the same thing with my mother-in-law when they started dating. Cute, right? Awww!
I made my own box that said "All of the above" and checked that one.
That night, Ben and I broke the stake president's rules. We had a fairly serious "What the heck is going on" chat. I told him very clearly that I did NOT want anything serious.
He pretended to agree with me.
Okay, if you thought the note was cheesy, get ready for this.
Every week, Ben and his roommate would go to an old folks home in town and sing songs and play guitar for a few hours. So we did some organizing and on Monday, our FHE group headed to the old folks home, ready with songs to play.
Story aside, it was the best activity ever. People played guitar or piano or violin. And the elderly people loved it. They would rock in their chairs or sing along. It was so great. But all the while, I had my eye on Ben. He was so sweet. He helped all of the residents into the room and would find them a good spot to sit. He would put his arm around the old ladies and chat with them like they were his own grandma.
Anyhow, needless to say, he was racking up the points. And to top it off, he sang Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." And that's really when everything changed.
That night as I went to bed, I knew that Ben was the one.
It sounds crazy and weird and a little bit freakish. But it's true. I mean, I wasn't ready to admit it to anyone, especially not him. But I just knew that if Ben and I dated, we'd get married.
Over the next couple of months, that little thought was confirmed so many times. Heavenly Father wasn't subtley letting me know that Ben was a good choice. No, He was practically shaking my shoulders and telling me that He whole-heartedly approved. I won't give you specifics, because they're special and I don't care to share them with the universe, but trust me when I say that the Lord was extra convincing.
Honestly, Ben was never a part of my plan. I had a pretty straight forward timeline of my life, and nowhere in it did it include Ben or Idaho or anything like that. But when it happened, I knew that it was right.
So we dated. And became best friends. And really, it was just wondeful. He's not perfect. But he's absolutely perfect for me.
In March we got engaged. After I graduated, he moved to Idaho and I moved home to Springville. The month we were apart was really difficult. Satan really plagued me and tried to get me to doubt our relationship. But Heavenly Father had already given me my answer.
So on June 8th I married my best friend.
And since we've been married (over 8 months now, people!), I've come to love Ben more than I ever thought possible. There are so many things that I didn't know about this guy. Some of them aren't quite as admirable (like his fingernail biting habits). But mostly I am so impressed with the things I learn (like his cooking skills and his scripture knowledge).
With everything that Ben and I have gone through in our short time together, good and bad, I have been so impressed with the knowledge that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me completely. How else would I have been blessed with such a wonderful companion? And to top it off-I get this guy for eternity. Gosh, what a bargain!
So that's the story of me and Ben. I hope it wasn't too sappy for you. But now you all know that I really didn't just get engaged out of the blue. And I really love my husband. Also, being married is the bomb. You should try it ;)
Love, Kim
